Here are some practical tips to help you and your adolescent have a better relationship. ? Sandra
STAY INFORMED
Create an ?open door? policy with your teen where they can come to you with any questions. Do not be afraid to?address topics with your teen such as?values, peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, and sexuality.
Stay informed on who your teenager?s friends are, as well as their interests and hobbies. Ask your teenager questions,?but also understand that sharing is their choice.
RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY
To help your teenager learn to take responsibility for their own actions, you?ll need to grant them some privacy. Ideally, their phone calls and room should be off limits to snooping.
However, if you suspect something serious is going on with your child, like substance abuse or?other?illegal activity, it is your responsibility is to keep your teen safe.
RESPECT THEIR OPINIONS
As teens mature, they begin forming opinions and becoming independent. Parents of teens may find it frustrating when their kids suddenly begin asserting themselves.
Listen intently to your child?s feelings, and encourage them to express their feelings. Try to allow them space to develop their own opinions, despite it differing from your opinion.
VALIDATE THEIR FEELINGS
With all the emotional changes taking place with adolescence sometimes your child may feel depressed, lonely, or upset. You do not need to fix their feelings or tell them that she should not be feeling that way. Give your teen the permission to feel what their feeling.
CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES
If your teen wants to dye their hair, paint their fingernails interesting colors, or wear funky clothes, think twice before you say no. Teenagers feel the need to rebel, and it?s a lot better to let them do something temporary and harmless.
Save the objections to things that really matter, like substance abuse, character values, and safety. Even though they may not show it, teenagers need and want the approval of their parents.
MAINTAIN CONSISTENT BOUNDARIES
Teens will?often act?frustrated with their parent?s rules. However, they also understand and appreciate that their parents care enough about them to expect certain things such as good grades, acceptable behavior, and adherence to family?s values.
Try to regularly notice and acknowledge the things you think they are doing well. Reward your teen for being trustworthy.
PARENTS SHOULD BE ON THE SAME PAGE
A unified parental front is crucial in the teenage years. Decide what your expectations are and stick to them. If you tell your teen they?re grounded and then forget about it the?next day, you are teaching them?to not take you seriously.
Consequences and Punishment are not the same thing. Consequences are not about yelling or getting angry with your teen. Consequences are simply taking something away for a period of time.
RECOGNIZE THE WARNING SIGNS
Keep your eyes open for these warning signs and seek consultation when you see them.
- Sudden change in eating patterns
- Isolation from peers and family
- Brushes with the law
- Sudden change in grades
- Joking/talking about suicide
- Regular disobedience at home and/or with teachers
- Significant loss or sudden change of friends over a period of time
- Suspicion of substance abuse
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Source: http://www.losangelesteentherapist.com/surviving-the-teen-years/
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